Mother's Day Debrief
I was definitely not looking forward to Mother's Day. As a woman who struggles with infertility, all things Mother's Day can just end up stinging. I tried my best to avoid anything mother-related in the last few weeks--changing the channel when a "what to get her for Mother's Day" commercial came on, walking away from awkward conversations, staying away from social media, skipping church--and felt that if I could just make it to May 11th I would be OK. But here we are on May 11th and I feel like I've left so much to process, so many thoughts on my To-Think list.
How timely it was then to wake up this morning with a letter in my inbox from a dear friend and mentor. Her letter was crisp, spring water to my dry and cracking heart. I hope that it will be an encouragement to you as well, no matter what you're going through, for it is so full of gospel-truth. This is for the mothers in waiting, the mothers in struggle, the mothers in sadness, the mothers in joy; this is for all of us. May my dear friend's words wash over you like a drive-through soul wash, like it did mine:
Some people's celebration days are other people's sad days, we know that, eh? In some ways, Mother's Day is a bunch of foolishness - even for me who has 3 - with its applause of something that God gave, God does, and I've somehow succeeded in even in my disastrous destructive tendencies. But, mothering is, of course, more than just having a child, but also putting others before yourself, behaving in a selfless manner, having a chance to adopt God's character, showing grace to the undeserving, being dependable, honest, consistent, and present.
There is no promise in this life, that things would be easy. And no happily-ever-after this side of heaven. But God does provide in the moment-by-moment; He does. Sometimes He even allows us to feel like life is easy or OK or sweet, and sometimes it is. Sometimes we have great joy. Other times, in the grueling rawness of it all we have to again look faithfully to God. (tweet that)
Today, I wish I could hold your heart in my hands and protect you from the sadness. But, I would probably screw that up; let's leave it to Jesus. Live by faith today little sister. Get some fresh air, eat some good food, be loved, and know I am thinking of you.